Archive for October, 2013

Madison. The Dark Side. Wisconsin

October 29, 2013

MADISON. THE DARKSIDE. WISCONSIN. CHAPTER 1

Advertisements

Tuesday’s stories

October 28, 2013

Go to the westmadwriters blog

scroll over westmadwriters to get a drop-down menu, go to dashboard, go to media, then library

The stories are there!

RV for Dummies. Act 2, Scenes 5 and 6, Act 3, Scenes 1 and 2

October 24, 2013

“act 2, scene 5”

Robert Janeck

x

 

FAde In:

Olive’s new career

The basement of the warehouse.  Olive is in chains on the wall.  She is looking really hung over, and is seated in a folding chair.

olive

Water. Do you give your prisoners water, or let them die?

Mexican 1

Sure, you drank enough last night, you are probably a little dry in the pipes this morning.

He takes a bottle of water from a cooler, opens it, and holds it out to Olive.  She cannot take it because the chains wouldn’t let her get her hands to her mouth. 

Olive

Please?

 

Mexican 1 puts the water to her lips, lets her drink, and then takes the bottle away from her lips, letting the water fall onto her shirt.  The cold water makes her gasp, and the shirt, now totally wet, clings to her form.  The Mexican gasps.

Mexican one

Damn woman, the titty fairy gave you a double dose of happy hills.

olive  

Fuck you.  They’re off limits to you and those jerks you play with.

 

The bottle is thrown so it hits a foot from her head, and splits, leaving her with wet hair and a wet face.  The Mexican takes a step forward, and lets his hands wander.

 

Norms Garage, about a half hour after the phone call.

Anna

What are they doing with the kidnapped women?

Norm

Mostly, they are turned into sex slaves, or in some cases, after they aren’t too cute anymore, breeders.  They ship them out of the country to Mexico, Indonesia, India, China, and a couple of dozen other countrys that you can’t find travel guides for in the book store, because nobody wants to go there.

bob

They generally don’t last long in that line of work.  They have a fresh supply, so when the girls get a little rough, they move them along to cheaper customers, and then at the end, well, use your imagination.

Sarge

So, where do you think they keep them, you know, until they ship them out, and how do they ship them out.)

Rebecca

Army intel thought that they were shipping arms, and we watched them the drones, but because they were shipping women, not guns, we had to pass the intel on up the chain of command, and not save the day with army troops.  That particular group was busted, but, like drug smuggling, there is always someone ready to pick up the work.

Bob

When they ship them out, they get an air freight cargo container, drug the girls, and put them in steamer trunk sized boxes, marked “Agricultural Tools”

Gunny

So, what are we going to do?

Bob

Wait, we notified the authorities. And they need to do their work.

 

FAde Out:

 

Norms Kitchen.

FAde In:

 

Anna and Rebecca are in Norms kitchen,

 

Anna

I heard you call the cops.  How the hell did you know what you told them.

Rebecca

Bob and I were out riding the bike, and saw something strange in a grocery store downtown, in one of the upstairs windows. And we parked the bike, and checked it out. We only broke one small lock, and went in and saw a dungeon in the basement.  It looks like a place that would work for kidnappers.

Anna

What do you mean, a dungeon, like a place to torture people,  maybe it was a set for the porno trade. 

Rebecca

Yup, except that there were no props, there was no electrical stuff for the lights, there was no table, and there were no other things that screamed “Movies made here”, infact, it looked like a real dungeon, because the stuff was real, and put where the stuff is in real dungeons, like we had in the war.

 

 

anna

Back in Russia, in Moscow, I had a boyfriend, he was much older, and he took me to the Lubyanka, and showed me the rooms they used for interrogation.  His idea of fun was to put me in chains, and….

Rebecca

Yup.  Seems to be a universal thing with guys.  Pretty girls, in chains.  Wonder why they don’t like the reverse?

Anna

What, pretty boys in chains?  Probably because most guys don’t like boys!

Rebecca

Girl, you reinforce the stereotypes about blonds.  Good for you.  Say, do you know the number for 911.

Anna

No, but I bet Gunny does!

Outside, at the garage

Anna

Hey gunny…

rebecca

Never mind.

 

 

Norm

Nice girls.  They seem to get along.

Gunny

Why don’t we just bust in there and shoot them all up.

Bob

Because they are making lunch, they have knives, and they didn’t do anything.

Gunny

Oh, you dumb fuck, the place downtown.

Norm

The cops have better numbers, bigger guns, and if they don’t kill everybody, they know what to do with em.

Gunny

I suppose.  I’ll give the cops until after lunch.

FAde In:

Kitchen

Girls are putting cold beers in a bucket, it is full to overflowing, and a plate of sandwiches, and a bag of Cheetos.

Anna

I have the Cheetos, their hands get orange, then when you let them grab you, you look like the Speaker of the House, with an orange tan.

Rebecca

And what is the problem with that, I mean, letting the jerks grab you?  Could be fun, plus, you have orange hands, were could they roam?

Bob

Hows lunch?

Rebecca

Delicious.  Did you want any?

Bob

Sure, maybe after we eat.

Garage.  Table and benches, eating and drinking.

Bob

Police have had enough time.  We can check the news and see if anything happened this morning.

Norm

TV says nothing about the raid.

Gunny

Let’s go shoot then up.

bob

Not yet.

(Looks at Rebecca, and says, let’s get the pickles norm has in the basement.)

rebecca

K

They go into the house, and downstairs, into the basement. The pantry is not under the steps but in a corner.  There is a door under the top of the steps, with solid walls, indicating either a closet, or another set of steps to a sub basement.

bob

Come here, lets travel.

Rebecca

Warehouse?

Bob

Yup.

Rebecca sits on Bob’s lap, on the couch, facing him, their hands locked together.  They remote view to the warehouse, and see the dungeon is empty.  Just then, the doors are kicked open, and the SWAT team blows in,  After a search, you hear “Clear” and from first floor, second and then third, “Clear”, “Clear”, and “Clear”.

FAde Out:

“act 2. Scene 6”

By

Robert Janeck

x

x

x

x

 

FAde In:

How did she do that?

Olive and two other young women are in a cargo container, not one of the big ones, like on a ship, but a smaller one, about the size of a kitchen table

olive

Just stay quiet, your whining keeps me from concentrating of how to get out of here.

Girl one

Wimpering.  Where are we going, why are we here, what are they going to do to us, why……      

 

Girl two

They’re going to make us whores, you bitch, but you probably won’t know the difference.  You give it away for nothing to the guys at the bar, so what is the difference if you’re are selling it, and someone else gets the money.   

olive (tensely)

Hush!!!!!

girl one

I want my boyfriend, now.

Back at Norms.  Nobody is drinking beer. All gathered out at the garage, at the picnic table.

Rebecca (eyes get really big)

Shithead, come hear!  (Gets up, heads into the house.)  (Bob gets up and follows.)  They head into the back office room, where she takes both of his hands, and they both close their eyes.

Bob

I saw her, in that cargo box, with those two chicks.

rebecca

Their women, schmuck.  Did you see when I pulled up and get the location.

bob

Yup, that is the old airport, out by Mendocino, I took flying lessons there a few years ago.

(They both run out of the house and go up to Norm.  Rebecca whispers into his ear)

Rebecca

They are at the old naval base in Mendocino in a shipping box.  They are probably on their way out of the country.

Norm

Time to beat feet.

Norm, bob, and Rebecca all head to their vehicles.  The Mustang, the bike both fire up.  Norm heads to a 1969 Chevrolet panel truck, like a Suburban, but with solid sides.  When it fires up, the late model Corvette motor shakes windows as he leaves four black streaks on the pavement as the 4-wheel drive grips.  He is caught up to the other two in seconds.  Norm takes the lead, and when they come up to a stop light, he hits a switch on the overhead console, which goes to a strobe light on the top which makes the lights turn from red to green at the intersections.  In a short while they are at the old navel base and soon are behind an old hanger.  They look around and see an elderly DC-3, but with state of the art turboprops from a Wisconsin firm that updates the old codgers.  There is a flatbed truck pulling away from the plane, and one of the engines starts.

 

Norm

One surefire way to keep a plane from escaping is to keep it from taking off.  And the only way to do that is to stop it from moving.

 

Norm is taking a folded AR-7 Charter Arms 22 caliber rifle from a small pack.  In seconds, he extracts the barrel from the stock, screws it onto the receiver, and puts a magazine in the gun, working the handle, the first shell is in the barrel, elapsed time, about 10 seconds. 

Bob

Engine or Tires.

The DC-3 starts the second engine.

Norm

Tires.  Those old radials are pretty tough, and I don’t think a 22 will cut the cylinder walls, but the tires are rubber,  I am going to empty the magazine into one tire.

Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.  Norm takes the magazine out, and puts another in.  The warehouse on the other side of the now listing DC-3 starts to empty of men with guns.  Bob takes out a small automatic, and emptys it, with two guys dropping,  Norm has 7 small bullets, and empties those, dropping two more.

Bob

You got any more lead?

Norm

No, but I have the knife.

Rebecca

Leave it to you to bring a knife to a gun fight.

 

Rebecca has a tiny, 1 7/8 barrel revolver, fitted with a laser sight.  Nobody can figure out where she had it hidden, but it was in a custom vault on the bike, and she had retrieved it when she got off the bike, at the airport.

 

Rebecca

Duck and cover, boys!

Green dots show on the first charging bad guys chest,  the gun fires, and the guy drops, the other looks at him, keeps running, then the green dot appears, and he drops.  Shot dead.

Rebecca

More on the plane.

They go to the plane, the pilot comes out with his hands high, and states that it was only him on the plane, and one box. Rebecca signs to him to lay down with his hands on his head, and he does so.

norm

You two, watch the 360, I’ll go see what is from Christmas.

bob

Copy

Olive

Normie Poo, you saved me.  I am yours forever.

Norm

Who are your friends.

Olive

Slave girls, like me.  You can take your pick, or free them.  Doesn’t matter to me.

Girl 2

Bitch,  you just wish I was your slave girl.

Slave girl 1

Does anybody have some gum?

[Scene description]

 FAde Out:

 

FAde In:

Norms Garage,  Norm, Rebecca, Gunny, Anna, Bob, Olive, and Slave girl 1 are there,  Slave girl 2 got bored and left.

Beers are out.

Olive

Cops didn’t care about all the dead stuff back at the airport?

Rebecca

Nah, they got an airplane with a flat tire out of it, 5 john does that nobody cares about, and they found something in the warehouse that they shut up really tight about.  Plus, there was an attache case that came out of the warehouse and was quietly put into the trunk of one of the detective sedans.  Written up as bad guy vs bad guy.  Short story.

Slave girl 2

Does anybody have any gum?

Olive

Shut up.  How did you guys find me.  I was thinking of you guys, and I could kind of see you here at the garage, then an hour later, you are there?

bob

We talked to the guys on the mother ship and they told us.

All smile and laugh.  Norm a little louder than the others.

Bob

This area is our back yard.  It was clear that you were kidnapped, and you wouldn’t be worth anything in the US, so, you had to leave.  We checked out a couple of places, and there you were.

Anna

You boys are so smart. (smiles)

Rebecca

Not smart enough to bring enough ammunition to a gun fight, just knives.

Slave girl 2

Are we going to eat, of just drink beer all day.

(Every one answers)

everyone

Yes.

Norm

Come on slavegirl, I’ll find you something to snack on.

They head into the kitchen, where she makes some girl noises.

 

Olive

What is that girl doing to my Normie poo?

Sarge

What you would be doing, if you had any brains.

Sounds of pans hitting the floor.

Olive

Hey, you better not be doing what I want to be doing to my neighbor.

Slave girl 2

Showing appreciation?

Slave girl 2

Oh Norm, it’s so big!

Norm and Slave girl 2 come out with a really big bag of Doritoes, and a really big jar of Salsa.

Norm

Oh shit.

Anna

Does anybody have a TAB

bob

Not since about 1968

Rebecca

Bob, we have some work to do.  Clean up work.

(She is shaking her head, indicating that they have to leave.)

Bob

K

Olive

Norm, my shoulders are a little stiff, could you rub them?

Slave girl 2

Oh, I can.

olive

Wonderful.

                                             Fade out.

“Act 3, Scene 1”

By

Robert Janeck

x

x

xx

x

 

FAde In:

Bob’s Living room, Bob and Rebecca

Bob and Rebecca burst in.  She goes to the fridge, and gets out two diet sodas, flipping one to Bob

bob

What’s this?

Rebecca

It’s a non alcoholic beverage, like near beer, or NA, but it doesn’t claim to be anything you might want to drink.  Its wet and cold.

bob

Like beer, but with very little to recommend it?

Rebecca

Yup, and they say that Einstein is dead.

kitchen

Rebecca

The only way I found Olive is she reached out to us.  She is a remote viewer.  I caught her thread, and was able to see where she was.  Do we want to bring her into the herd, or should be hope that she is not strong enough to develop. 

Bob

I’ve known her for about 10 years.  Gunny bought the house after he got a permanent billet at the base.  She was about 14, and she has always had a thing for Norm.

Rebecca

Poor kid.  I think there is a 12 step program for that, although, with Norm, 13 or 14 might be appropriate.

Bob

She got a four year degree in bio chem, and the grad school was in stem cell research with a concentration in using stem cells for enhanced bone healing.  Half the time when she is talking about her work, school, or lab, I haven’t got the faintest idea what she is talking about.  She listens, she learns, she synthesizes information, and she is easy on the eyes.  Oh, Gunny took her to the range at an early age, she shoots at a level to Marksman in the Marine corp.  Scary, kind of. 

(Back to the living room)

Rebecca

Rub my feet, bubbie, I was on them today.

Bob

Only doing it because I know where it will lead.

Rebecca

And you know where it will lead if you don’t

bob

Let’s try holding hands when your feet are good.  Does it work if I am holding your feet?

 

 

FAde Out:

“act 3, Scene 2”

By

Robert Janeck

x

x

x

x

 

FAde In:

More Coupling

Bobs big bed.  Bob and Rebecca are lying on their backs, eyes closed, hands being held.  They are motionless for a few moments, then start to move.

bob

Ok, I got that the casino thing doesn’t work for me, but the tracking down level one does seem to work.  I was able to track down Olive’s line to see her in her room.

Rebecca

You perv.  She was wearing those boy shorts and the wife beater shirt.  Don’t you dare go back there just to watch.

Bob

Hey, she sent out the fiber, I just caught it.  But, when I Rv’ed you, you followed my fiber back to me.  Just now, she wasn’t looking at you or me, just someone else, does she broadcast that she if Rving, and we catch it or…

Rebecca

I don’t know.  Nothing is in a book, or a manual, or on the internet, at least nothing you can trust.

Bob

How is your training for a four doing.

 

Rebecca

It’s a three, Einstein, and I have been dodging bullets with you and Norm, I have an appointment with my dojo tonight.  Let you know in the morn.  Breakfast?  Hmmm. Pancakes.  Real maple syrup.  Tasty.  You buying? 

bob

What, the slots cold?

Rebecca

Ever the gentleman.

bob

Ok, I’ll buy.

(Phone rings.)

bob

Hi Olive.

Olive

I think I know where Mr. Big is, the ringleader of the white slavers.  I kind of saw where he is in the office building across the street from the bus depot.  Do you know what we can do?

Rebecca

I can think about a few things.

Bob

We have some ideas.  We will let you know, but you have to stay away, there may be collateral damage.  Stay way far away.  They may recognize you.  Stay at home.  Talk soon, say hi to Norm. 

FAde Out:

 

FAde In:

Detective office

Police department, detective office,  three detectives are talking.

Detective one

So what do you make of the mess at the old naval base.  Dead guys, plane with a flat, pilot who just says he was hired to fly the play with cargo to Tijuanna, and he checks clean.

Detective 2.

The van at the airport checks out as the one that was at that warehouse with the white slavery story.  The one with the dungeon, and carry out containers from that day in the trash

Detective 3

Got to be a link.  Do you think that someone found out that their little girl was kidnapped and on her way to slavery?

Detective 2

Probably,  I wouldn’t have left the pilot if my daughter was in a box on board.

Detective 1

Any luck on tracing the call that lit up the warehouse?

 

Detective 2.

Nope.  Clean.  Burner phone, bought with cash at a place with no cameras.  Super clean, impossible to trace.

Receptioist

Phone for head detective.

Detective 1

Got it.

Olive

The white slavers are on third floor. The Whitely Building, they are ready to get more stock.  Stop em.

 

Remote Viewing for Dummies. Act 2, Scenes 1,2,3,4.

October 17, 2013

“ACT 2, SCENE ONE. “COUPLING” “
By
Robert Janeck
4815 Comanche Way
Madison, Wi. 53704
608-241-8497
[email]

FADE IN:
COUPLING
Bob’s bedroom. A kingsize bed pretty much fills the room. Bob has 800 count, Egyptian cotton sheets, king size pillows, and a very large german shepherd on the bed.
REBECCA
So show me the lair of the master remote viewer. Holy shit, who is the monster?

The German shepherd is lying in the middle, and just looks at her. He knows he is on the top of the food chain, and she is just one link, somewhere far below. Not a threat.
BOB
He answers to “Max” or bear, or pretty much anything, if you have a biscuit. No biscuit, you may be the biscuit.
BOB
Max, be good. Friend. Becky, there are biscuits on the top of the dresser.
REBECCA
You leave his biscuits in the open, within his reach, and he doesn’t just snarfle them all up, when you aren’t looking?
BOB
Training. I got him War surplus from the base in San Antonio, he was a security dog, kind of a search and destroy. His level of training is at the top, and he knows commands in two languages, plus hand signals.
Bob and Rebecca settle in on the bed. The dog is bored, and gets up and leaves, you hear water going down, and he comes back, looks at the bed, gives a sigh, and lays down on the floor.
REBECCA
Ok, do the relaxation, the breathing, or whatever you do to do what we do. We will hold hands. That connection allows us to communicate, mentally. Let’s see what we can do, and where we can go.
BOB
Copy
REBECCA
See you in dreamland.
(From the scene where they are holding hands in the bed, we see them standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon, then in front of Mount Rushmore, the Washington Monument, then a crappy little grocery store in the part of San Diego that is very close to the border. )
BOB
Is there a reason you brought me here, Oh Ghost of Christmas Past
REBECCA
Sometimes you just flow where the whatever sends you, sometimes you can be the driver, sometimes you ride shotgun, sometime, you ride bitch. I am going to guess that there is a reason we are here. Let’s go inside.
BOB
Ok, we have an older three story building with a basement loading dock, retail on first floor, and the loading dock has pallets and a dumpster that smell like a grocery store’s dumpster. Where do you want to start?
They are in the basement of the old building, there is inventory for the grocery store, but a wall that is about ¾ of the way up from the back loading dock has steel screwed into what looks like structural wood, with not less than two deadbolt locks. They walk up to the wall and then they are in the other room. Empty at this point, there are stations along the walls that have chains bolted to the rafters, and hand cuffs with one side fastened to the chain, and one side free. The chains art about 6 feet apart, and there are eye bolts on the floor under each chain with a three foot piece of nylon rope knotted about each eyebolt. Both Bob and Rebecca notice the wooden table in the middle of the floor, with its ropes, chains, eyebolts, and other restraints. Rebecca motions to Bob to leave, and they are on the third floor with their backs to a window facing onto the main road outside. The room has a number of men, two Asian, in suits custom made by one of Singapore’s best tailors, a holdover from the British days. There are three Mexican guys, central casting could have sent them over for a Quentin Tarantino movie, the other two looked like the dudes at any Los Angeles movie or video, or TV production company. Shirts with only a couple of buttons, pastel slacks, and a look that male, female, sheep, or goats, it’s all good.
ASIAN 1
Our customers has a taste for the starlet quality, you know, your California girl, with an attitude just waiting to be broken. Someone who our people will have a good time breaking into a slave whore for the brothels in Cambodia and Laos, not to mention the rich guys in China.
MEXICAN 1
Do your guys want any Hispanic girls, our coyotes can round them up in the desert. We can use the night vision scopes we get from the military, and hell, we can use their choppers if the money is right, on that particular day.
ASIAN 2
Yup, we have some guys who will pay for that, but not the same money as for the white girls, they use them in games in the coliseum, if you know what I mean.
MEXICAN 2
So, you don’t mind if they’re a little rough when we transfer?

ASIAN 2
No broken bones, no open wounds, no gunshot wounds, but a little beat up shouldn’t cut the pay.
WHITE GUY 1
We can put out the work for a casting for a new movie, we need hot chicks for a rap video, or we want girls for an ad series for some department store. Hell, we can put together a catalog. Order what you want.
WHITE GUY 2
We just have to make sure that the chicks are the type who show up in Hollywood, don’t get work, then go home, or disappear, not a problem, we have tons to choose from.
MEXICAN 2
I’ll put some eyes at the clubs, the bus stations, the train stations, we can’t hang out at the airport, cause then think that we are looking for snort, so we just look where we are invisible. We scored some chicks at the home improvement store who hired a couple of our boys to do some yard work.
Bob and Rebecca look at each other, and remove themselves from the scene, they are back together, in Bob’s big bed, the shepherd watching, gets up and leaves.
FADE OUT:

“|ACT 2 SCENE 2. OLIVE TAKES A MARTINI”
By
Robert Janeck
x
x
x
x

FADE IN:
OLIVE TAKES A MARTINI.
A bar, a club, a dive, every college town has one. The owner doesn’t keep the air conditioning set too cold, because then the dancing girls glisten, we all know that women don’t sweet, they glisten. The beer is cold, the music loud, the dj is hot, the bouncers are cool. They check the ids of the guys like they were entering a nuclear reactor, and the girls ids are checked so the bouncers know the first name they are using that night. Olive flows in, the wife beater cut at the top to show some more of the famous Mount Olive cleavage, the skirt shorter than one would define a short skirt. A look of confidence, the tiger is in her domain.
OLIVE
Hey Mikey, anybody waltz in here worth getting to know.
MIKEY THE DOOR CHECK GUY
Oly, you know everybody in here, in one way or the other. You even know their real names.
OLIVE
Hell, that’s the name they give me, not the name their mama gave them.
MIKEY
There were some Mexi guys in here. Never seen them before, seemed awful sober for Mexican guys after 10 pm.
OLIVE
Any new girls in here?
MIKEY
Always some fresh meat at the butcher store. Fresh in from Minneapolis, gonna make star in two weeks, can’t find a waitress job, and working the porn up in the valley at the end of the month, when the rent is due. They end up with a boyfriend that is more of a looser than they are. And, they don’t tip our waitresses, bartenders, or bouncers.
OLIVE
You don’t get tips!
(Mikey looks a little nervous)
MIKEY
Ever wonder why some of those girls look so young? Ever wonder why some of those guys who are dorks get to the top of the velvet rope by just walking up and shaking my hand? Ever wonder why the bouncer drives a piece of shit truck to work, and goes to Vegas in a Shelby Mustang?
OLIVE
Only because I don’t give a shit.
MIKEY
Better trundle in a stake your claim. Bartime in only about 4 hours. Barely enough time to set your claws.
OLIVE
I’ll leave you some leftovers.
Camera shifts to the club, sweaty girls, lots of sweaty bottles of beer, loud music, and three Mexican guys in the corner where the bar met the outside wall. They had beer bottles, but they had picked up empties, and just held them to be social, and invisible.

MEXICAN 1
Hey sister, can I have you buy me a beer.
OLIVE
You must have flipped upside down when you slide under the fence at the border. Around here the dude buys the chick the beer.
MEXICAN 1

Ok. Dos cervesos, por favor.
BARTENDER
What flavor?
(Sign behind the bartender. “Over 100 craft beers on hand at all times”
MEXICAN 1
Ah, bud.
OLIVE
Thanks, dude, what’s your name?
MEXICAN 1
Call me Juan.
OLIVE(DRINKING HEAVILY FROM THE BOTTLE, ALMOST DRAINING IT.)
Dude!
We see Olivia start to get starry eyed. She is under the influence of something that will make her check out. Mexican 1 signals to Mexican 2 and 3 and they slide arms around Olivia and work her out through the crowd to the front doors. Mikey sees what is going on, and speaks into his watch. The Mexicans role Olive out the door and into an older Lincoln Towne Car Limo, which, if you could see the drivers side, has battle damage along the whole side, left from the last abduction, when the girls friends tried to stop the kidnapping. Their Toyota Corolla didn’t stand a chance and ended up pushed off the road into a palm tree. The Linc rolls off, and Mikey is still talking into his watch.

Act 2. Scene 3.

Olive is in the basement of the grocery store. She is seated in a metal folding chair. Her hands are cuffed to the chains, and her feet are tied to the rings on the floor. She has a ballgag in her mouth, and a bandana over her eyes. Mexican 1, and White guy 1 come in, and look her over. White guy 1 reaches into her shirt, and checks out her breasts. Mexican 1 nods in agreement, and after White guy 1 pulls his hands out, reaches over and rips the shirt open, freeing the twins of truth and beauty. She is awake now, and struggles. White guy 1 tells her to relax, she isn’t going anywhere, and she might as well relax and enjoy her new career. Slave whore.
Fade out.

ACT 2, SCENE 4. CAN IT BE A MARTINI IF THERE IS NO OLIVE?
By
Robert Janeck
x
x
x
x

FADE IN:
NORMS GARAGE
Norm is sober, not drinking, Bob and Rebecca show up in Bob’s mustang. Gunny and Anna are there, Gunny is really mad, and Anna is looking worried, and beautiful, is a yellow sundress.
BOB
Brief me. (Rebecca tries to grab his underwear, but then remembers that he isn’t wearing any.)
GUNNY
Olive went out, to see her friends at that damn bar downtown, by the campus, she was seen by Mikey, who used to be one of my boys, escorted out by three sombreros into a beat up Lincoln limo.
REBECCA
Why didn’t he stop her.
BOB
Mikey works for the same agency I used to. He is surveillance and can’t risk the whole show for one chick. He did follow his orders, and he was taught well to follow orders by Gunny.
GUNNY
Yeah, too well.

REBECCA
Bob, remember what we saw yesterday?
BOB
Yup
REBECCA
Norm, have you got a bed Bob and I can use?
NORM, WITH A LAUGH IN HIS VOICE.
Ya, Bob knows where it is, but don’t we have something more important to do?
(All watching in wonderment as Rebecca grabs Bob’s hand and they disappear into the house. Almost as fast as they went in, they are out, with Bob pulling Rebecca)
NORM
What? Wasted the opportunity just thinking about it?
BOB
Come here.
Bob steers Norm around the corner of the garage, and back to the old 1957 Chevrolet race car that Norm maintains in his father’s memory.
BOB
Becky and I looked and found Olivia in the warehouse basement at Madison and Harrison streets. She is shackled in the basement. Bunch of Mex, Asian, and gringo in the building. Do you have any of those burner phones.
NORM
Don’t leave home without one. (Reaches into a pocket, and takes out a disposable burner phone) This one doesn’t have a ton of use, just to the track to see who won. I can drop the dime. (Norm punches in 911.) There is a kidnapping in process at the warehouse grocery, in the basement of Madison and Harrison. White slavery, lots of girls, and they are shipping them out in an hour. If you don’t get there, they are gone forever. After disconnecting, he disassembles the phone, takes the chip, hits it with a rock, and takes the junk, the phone, the battery, and the destroyed chip and dumps it all in the trash.
Coming around the corner of the garage, they almost ran into Anna, in her magnificent sundress, leaning on the side of the garage. She had heard everything they had said, and had heard the phone call to the police. But, their secret was secure with her, until she posted it on her blog, using a link on the third period in each days posting that was monitored by an unknown agency located in Moscow. Back in garage, they found Rebecca talking with Gunny, who was still worried about his pride and joy.

Remote Viewing for Dummies. Act One, Scenes 9 and 10.

October 17, 2013

“remote viewing for dummie”

By

Robert Janeck

4815 Comanche Way

Madison, Wi.    53704

608.241.8497

  

[email]

 

FAde In:

Act one, Scene 9.  The casino.

Bob and Rebecca arrive at the local native American casino,  Rebecca in full leathers, on her Harley 48, and Bob in the Mustang Convertible. 

Rebecca     

Bobalu, can I put my leathers in the trunk of your secretary special.

Bob

 

Sure, you don’t even have to take them off. You don’t take up much space, climb in.

Rebecca, while stripping off the Jacket, Helmit and gloves

Remember, I am the sensei here, you follow my lead, and I show you how to make some coin, and how to be a good boy, so you can be a two.

Bob.

Understood chief boss chick.

Inside of casino.  Filled with grey haired seniors, pumping their kids inheritance into the quiet machines in front of them.  Rarely, out of the hundreds of machines, you would hear some bells ring, and some lights were reflected against the ceiling.  Rarely.

Rebecca

So, we just wander, I have my card, and I am ready to play, you will have to register, but do it when I am not here, so their cameras and sensors do not id us as together.  They can tell whose card is standing in front of a machine, even if it is not in use, so when we are here together, one card stays in the card.  Did you feel that sensation, kind of a quickening of your senses, kind of like when a porn star wanna be walks in front of you at Venice Beach?

bob

Ah, no.

Rebecca

Ok.  Try this one.

Bob

Ok, this one takes nickels. How many should I put in.  I have 4.

 

Bob

Well, that worked for shit.

Rebecca

Did I say that was a hot one?  Now you know what the disappointment feels like,  keep walking.

Rebecca

Here, this one.  Feel anything,  I do. (Puts card in, plays three times, and wins over $100 on the 25 cent machine.

Bob

Thanks for letting me recoup my loss.

They continue through the casino, with Rebecca playing the cold machines to give about $40 back.  They eat lunch quietly at the bar, and soon are gopne.

FAde Out:

 

 

 

 

 

FAde In:

Act one, Scene 10

Norms Garage.  Norm is working on his bike, and has a beer half gone, there is a wet spot on the driveway next to the ceremonial spot of bare dirt by the garage door.  The motorcycle and the Mustang pull in.  As usual, Rebecca cuts the engine when she clears the sidewalk, and glides silently up to the garage door.  Bob pulls in and parks about 15 feet behind.

Norm

What did you two get into this morning, other than each other’s pants.

Rebecca

He just wishes, the only way he is getting my panties, is when he does my laundry.

bob

Went to Custers last stand,  she ran the machines before and after lunch, walked out with about $250, took about an hour with the give back.  Not bad.

Rebecca

Hey, beats making up sober at 530am each morning and sitting in a cube for 8 hours after two hours on the freeway.

Norm

You got to get me into this viewing thing, I need more beer money.

Next door, a very new, regular cab pickup truck, with the noise of a very big, powerful V8 engine pulled in,  the driver, Gunny, like most gunny’s was the spitting image of R Lee Ermey, the training gunny from a cult Vietnam war movie, is a very powerful man, in his late 40’s.  Even though he is wearing a polo shirt, and sweat shorts, he has a look of power, control, and perhaps danger.  He was a 20 year gunnery Sargent, and didn’t want to retire, but his job was needed for an up and coming younger version of himself.  His pension was good, and provided a decent lifestyle for him and his second wife, Anna, who was the spitting image of Anna Kournakova, but about 34 years old.

Riding shotgun, was Anna, and stuffed between, was Olive, who was the daughter of Gunnies’ first wife, a petite, wonderful woman from Japan, who was everything a man would ever wish for, except faithful. 

Gunny

What are you two yazoos doing with a decent woman?

Rebecca

Who the hell says I’m decent?

Gunny

Hell, you’re good enough for me, I guess.

Anna

That’s going to cost you plenty, Gunny.

(Olivia slides out of the truck on the passenger side.  She is about 5’10. Dark haired, a figure that men would, and had, walk into walls and poles while watching her.  She is wearing shorts that Rebecca would find short, and a wife beater that had been trimmed and shorted almost to the part where her privates weren’t)

Olivia

Normie poo,  do you have my scooter finished?

Norm

Yup.  I just finished it yesterday, the paint is dry, and the leather is clean.  Now remember, this is a two stroke.  It’s a 1977 Yamaha RD400, which in its day could run with a 650.  Lighter and quick to wind up, you can pop a wheelie that is bigger than you ever could with your ninja bike.  You learn how to ride this bike before you get too stupid on it.  Any, only with full leathers and full face helmit.  Anything else is going to be my fault then you scrape yourself along the Pacific Coast Hiway.  Hell, Becky almost put is over the top in front of the house.

Anna

Hey Rebecca, these old geezers sure have better toys than the youngsters at the day care center.

Rebecca

Yeah, but about the same level of maturity.

Beers are produced, and all 6 are soon drinking and jamming.

FAde Out:

The End

 

Elder Care by Annie Levihn (so far, and not formatted correctly)

October 14, 2013

INT – stage at Caesars Palace, Las Vegas, 1985 – night

 

 

RICHARD PACKHAM, 35, a mega-popular Las Vegas singer who happens to be British, is singing with a soulful look on his face to Eric Carmen’s “All By Myself.” The song is about to end.

 

The auditorium at Caesars Palace is packed. RICHARD is obviously well-loved and he is theatrical in ending the song. His hair is longer, feathered in an ‘80s style, and he has a mustache, a la Tony Orlando.

 

 

RICHARD

 

(singing with emphasis)

 

All by myself, don’t wanna live all by myself anymore.

 

(the song ends)

 

Thank you! Thank you!

 

(bowing with hands in front of his chest like in prayer)

 

…thank you.

 

INT – a small track house in suburban Phoenix, Arizona, modern day – morning

 

 

 

RICHARD is bowing down at an altar he has built in his home. It has a photo of Frank Sinatra, a Buddha, some prayer beads, candles, etc.

 

 

RICHARD

 

(coming up from his bow)

 

 

Namaste.

 

 

 

RICHARD gets up and busies himself by getting ready.

 

He rubs on self-tanner/SPF (Ban de Soleil—an ‘80s brand), Speed Stick deodorant, Old Spice, and then proceeds to put mousse in his hair (Vidal Sassoon). Then, the piece de resistance, he blows his hair dry.

 

Taking off his Hugh Hefner-style robe, he proceeds to shimmy into a Speedo “banana sling” swimsuit, dons several gold chains and puts on flip-flops. Over that, he dons a white shirt embroidered with “Heavenly Acres STAFF—Dick P.” on it, and khaki pants.

 

It is obvious that RICHARD still lives a bit in the past with his “life of style” from the ‘80s and tries hard to hang on to what is left of his youth (he is a good-looking 63 and physically fit).

 

He goes through the motions of getting ready to start his day in the same way he has always done it-—with much preparation—-a throwback to his days in Vegas, where he would spend much time getting ready for an evening’s performance, albeit with the help of a stylist.

 

RICHARD is now a certified massage therapist. He was very popular on the Las Vegas circuit circa 1980-85 or so and wooed the crowds with glittering, showy stage acts that were akin to Burt Bacharach, Tony Orlando and Dawn—even Barry Manilow. He famously sang COVERS of all the favorites from the ‘60s and ‘70s, but never any original work.

 

RICHARD remains distant friends with a few of these stars, though, rather unfortunately, RICHARD gambled away his fortune, becoming a gaming addict and an alcoholic.

 

He’s over that now, but never quite recovered any fame and definitely not any fortune.

 

After his stint in rehab, which took place in Sedona, Arizona, (he had a vision on a vortex) RICHARD became smitten with the desert and now lives in a tract housing area outside of HEAVENLY ACRES retirement community, which sits outside Sun City and Phoenix, Arizona.

 

As part of RICHARD’s rehab, he learned a healthier lifestyle and took up the alternative healing practice of massage therapy as a way to make money.

 

 

 

(Opening credits roll to: “Love for Sale” by Jacqui Naylor.)

 

 

 

After RICHARD prepares to face yet another day, he seems a bit content to just be on his way and adds a spring to his step. Though he knows he’s stuck, he’s not really too unhappy and makes the most of his situation, getting into each moment in a playful way.

 

RICHARD grabs a pack, leisurely walks through his 900-sq. ft. tract home, and is out in the Arizona sunshine, amidst hundreds upon hundreds of homes that look just like his.

 

He pops around to the backyard and we notice that RICHARD’s tiny home backs up to HEAVENLY ACRES, in sharp contrast—but the retirement community is built with a huge fence (tastefully done, of course, but dominating) around it.

 

RICHARD hops the fence (or squeezes through somehow) and walks to the pool where there are literally dozens of Old Biddies swimming, doing water aerobics, drinking cocktails and wheatgrass, taking their meds served by well-dressed staff members and generally having a geriatric gay old time.

 

The women are in their sunbathing best, but it is very obvious this is an OLD crowd and RICHARD is the youngest by far, other than the staff, which is certainly out of age range for these women—of course there are a few men, but they are a rare breed.

 

RICHARD slowly walks past a well-kept row of fancy lounge chairs where one after one the Old Biddies eye RICHARD from head to toe and try to make eyes with him, but RICHARD’s eyes are covered by Ray-Ban aviator sunglasses and he seems to have a goal in sight.

 

He smiles knowing that every single Old Biddy is sizing him up, he saunters a bit and the last lounge chair holds JAMES, the exceptional male, who happens to be RICHARD’s best friend, and also happens to be gay.

 

“Love for Sale” scratches as we do a double take on JAMES who peers over his sunglasses and eyes up RICHARD. But no sooner can we figure out the relationship between the two men (platonic…very), then we hear an Old Biddy cry out…

 

 

ROSE

 

 

“Woo hoo! Dickie! Over here!”

 

 

 

 

INT- DAY- Enclosed sun cabana at Heavenly Acres

 

RICHARD enters the cabana where a massage table is set up and ROSE is all ready to get a rubdown.

 

RICHARD has his routine and puts on some New Age music, situates ROSE underneath a sheet, puts on a belt that has two pump bottles attached to it (massage oil in one, Purel in the other…) and prepares to perform his job.

 

ROSE is talking excitedly about her lineup of activities for the day and RICHARD begins to work his magic fingers.

 

JAMES enters the cabana, but ROSE doesn’t see him as her eyes are closed. He rolls his eyes and is having a good time mimicking her. ROSE chats and chats and RICHARD soothingly tells her to…

 

 

RICHARD

 

 

Relax…forget your day…

 

 

 

 

Almost instantly, ROSE FALLS asleep.

 

 

RICHARD

 

(smiling at JAMES)

 

Works like a solid-gold charm every time.

 

 

JAMES

 

You do have that magic touch.

 

Now speaking of magic, Sylvia Pancenko passed on last night. I just heard it from one of the aids. I know it’s sad whenever someone crosses to the Other Side, but at our age—well, MY age anyway—you’re not doing anyone a favor by sticking around attached to an electrical outlet.

 

Everyone dies, end of story. Once you get over the heartbreak of the first…oh say half dozen or so…you start to realize that it’s all just a matter of time….anyway, that’s my philosophy. You have to find the good or you’d just be crying all the time.

 

Anyway! After she had that heart attack…I’m betting poor Sylvia would’ve wished she’d signed the DO NOT RESUSCITATE. Her children were in agony for nearly a year about pulling the plug. But then, POOF, the decision was made for them. 1:33 a.m. this morning.

 

 

RICHARD

 

Rest in Peace.

 

 

JAMES

 

Rest in Peace.

 

Now…

(looking mischievous)

 

…wouldn’t you have liked to get a finger in the pie of THAT family’s fortune, hmmm? Heir to the Sweetie Cakes empire….that Sylvia swore by those damn preservative-and-lard laden Mr. Fruit-eez pies and not to mention the Choco-Banana Sweetie Cakes, the Sin-A-Min Swirls, the Peanut Butter Crisp Stix, oh, and the Whoopie Delight pies. Gawd, at 49-cents a pop, who could resist such a bargain at the pump station?

 

 

RICHARD

 

You seem to know a lot about Sweetie Cakes varieties, James. One might think you actually eat them.

 

 

JAMES

 

Let’s just say, I’ve done my research.

(Hits his belly, which is actually quite firm for a man of his age.)

 

 

A man is curious, you know. I wanted to see what all the hype was about when they pulled Twinkle Dwinkles off the shelves a few months ago. Why, the Sweetie Cakes corporation was going bankrupt! Remember that on the news?

 

 

 

RICHARD

 

Everyone was running to QuikMarts to stock up, yeah, I remember. Nasty business.

 

 

 

JAMES

 

It just amazed everyone in the world how actually popular those damn things are; drove the stock price right back up.

 

While she was comatose, Sylvia was getting richer by the day.

 

 

 

RICHARD

 

Rest in peace.

 

 

 

JAMES

 

Yes, yes. Rest in peace.

 

You could’ve worked your way into that will, Richard, my friend.

 

Sylvia had a thing for your Fabulous Phalanges. Well (gestures to ROSE), they all do.

 

 

 

RICHARD

 

I just do my job.

 

 

 

JAMES

 

But you’re good at it. You’ve given me a squeeze or two, and I am very particular about who touches and how to touch my bod. Why, I work very hard to take care of these perky pecs, these golden gams, these brazen biceps!

 

 

 

RICHARD

 

I didn’t know biceps could be brazen, but good show, dear fellow, you’ve convinced me. And thank you, for the compliment.

 

 

 

JAMES

 

You’re welcome. And you know that I know that you’re damn good at more than massages. Why back in the day…

 

 

 

RICHARD

 

Ah, ah, ah! Mustn’t talk about Back in the Day.

 

 

 

JAMES

 

Pfffft.

 

 

 

RICHARD

 

I am who I am now. I’ve been a massage therapist for over a decade. I love making people relaxed. Happy. Satisfied.

 

You moved in here just a couple years ago, Jimmy. I’ve been at Heavenly Acres since they opened. We’ve talked about this.

 

 

 

JAMES

 

True…You’ve been here awhile.

 

 

 

RICHARD

 

And I like my gig here. I make a lot of ladies happy here…a few gents…

 

 

 

JAMES

 

Huh…and more than a few gents if some of them would admit it…

 

 

RICHARD

 

…via my occupation, and I’m proud of where I am now. I’m not the past. I mean…I am the past, but I’m not going to live there. I’ve made my peace.

 

 

INT – stage at Caesars Palace, Las Vegas, 1983 – night

 

FLASHBACK to RICHARD onstage. He sings CAT STEVEN’S “Peace Train” in a fanfare-ish manner with his backup singers.

 

 

RICHARD

 

Oh I’ve been smiling lately, dreaming about the world as one

And I believe it could be, some day it’s going to come

 

Cause out on the edge of darkness, there rides a peace train

Oh peace train take this country, come take me home again

 

Now I’ve been smiling lately, thinking about the good things to come

And I believe it could be, something good has begun

 

Oh peace train sounding louder

Glide on the peace train

Come on now peace train

Yes, peace train holy roller

 

Everyone jump upon the peace train

Come on now peace train…

 

 

 

INT- DAY- Enclosed sun cabana at Heavenly Acres

 

The flashback ends, and we are back in the cabana with RICHARD and JAMES and ROSE.

 

 

 

RICHARD

 

Huh?

 

 

 

JAMES

 

(whispering) I said, “Rose is waking up!”

 

 

 

RICHARD

 

Oh. Yeah. Right-o.

 

(To Rose; massaging her head)

 

There. And….time’s up!

 

 

 

ROSE

 

Oh my! I feel as though I’ve fallen asleep! That was absolutely gorge-ous! Dickie, darling, I a-DORE massages with you. Now next time will you do an in-room massage service, darling? Please?

 

 

 

RICHARD

 

Let’s see, Rose. I’ll look at my calendar and let you know. Take your time getting up. Be sure to drink plenty of water the rest of the afternoon. Take it easy.

 

 

(JAMES exits and ROSE sits up. Her hair is quite messy.)

 

 

 

ROSE

 

Oh, I’m up! I’m up!

 

 

 

RICHARD

 

And, you look smashing after all that, darling. Just smashing!

 

(ROSE is flattered.)

 

Ta-ta! Off to my next appointment.

 

 

(RICHARD exits the cabana.)

 

 

 

JAMES

 

Mrs. Hurley. Condo 240P. “P.” That’s PENThouse.

 

 

RICHARD

 

Thank you, James for reading my schedule book.

 

(Grabs his schedule book from JAMES.)

 

 

 

JAMES

 

Just looking to see if there’s any hot prospects for you. You don’t even get tips at this place, Richard! The No Tipping Please policy can’t be doing much for your retirement fund. What you need is a nice little old biddie who’ll take you on as her surrogate son and leave you a nice chunk of an extensive & deep mutual fund investment over her 50-year working career.

 

Nellie McGilligan. Now there’s a prospect. She’s not in Assisted Care yet, but will be soon, I bet. She was walking last week, but now she’s in a wheelchair…

 

Owned a commercial concrete supply company right here in Phoenix. She was here before Scottsdale practically existed. All the malls, the subdivisions…they’re all made from HER concrete. Funny how big money can come—quite literally—from dirt.

 

 

 

RICHARD

 

Ah James. Ever looking out for me. But you know, you’re sick.

 

 

 

JAMES

 

Lovesick. There’s Doug now.

 

(Motions and waves to DOUG, who sits on a bench surrounded by scads of flowering shrubs.)

 

He must be taking a break from Charlene.

 

 

 

RICHARD

 

Jolly good. Gotta go. Love Doug. Love Dot Hurley. I’m afraid her dementia is getting the best of her, but she’s still a party girl to the bone. Cheerio, Jimmy. Find something productive to do.

 

Like work on your tan.

 

 

 

JAMES

 

Well, now I have something productive to do. Gonna say, “Hey” to my main man.

 

(He runs over and joins DOUG on the bench.)

 

 

 

 

INT – DAY – DOT HURLEY’S gorgeous penthouse condo overlooking a golf course

 

 

It is obvious DOT has a lot of money. DOT is pretty, 78 years old, and dressed with what looks like an expensive robe. She is at a mirror applying lipstick, but it gets a little off-kilter. She spritzes a cloud of perfume (though pressing the nozzle is a bit difficult; she fumbles a bit) and walks through it.

 

 

(RICHARD enters.)

 

 

DOT

 

Sweetheart, Dickie. Come over here.

(opens arms for a hug)

 

 

 

RICHARD

 

(To the nursing aid)

Well, must be a good day, she’s remembering my name.

 

(The aid smiles and nods.)

 

Dorothy, you smell like a summer garden in…well…not in Phoenix.

 

(Smiles.)

Reminds me of a walk out in the English countryside.

 

 

(DOROTHY looks at the bottle and reads it, slowly.)

 

 

 

DOROTHY

 

“Yard-ley’s.” Oh, of course, it’s Yardley’s. Of London, you know. “English Lavender.”

 

 

DOT sprays another cloud (again, she has difficulty pressing the nozzle) and walks through it. The perfume is getting a little strong now. She has obviously forgotten she just put it on.

 

 

 

RICHARD

 

(stifling a cough)

 

Here now, let me take that for you.

 

So,

 

(turns to aid) Usual today?

 

 

 

NURSING AID

 

I think so, Mr. Paxton.

 

(turning to Dorothy)

 

Mrs. Hurley, the usual arm-and-hand massage?

 

 

 

DOROTHY

 

Oh yes, these…

 

(gestures to hands; looks them over thoughtfully; she has forgotten the word she wants to use)

 

these are no good.

 

 

 

RICHARD

 

Ah, they are SO good, Dot! Let’s have a seat and get started.

 

(RICHARD sets up a massage chair and has DOROTHY sit down.)

 

 

 

DOT

 

Ahhh…

 

…Richard.

 

 

 

RICHARD

 

(a little startled that she uses his real name)

 

Ahem, yes Dorothy.

 

 

 

DOT

 

Did I ever tell you about my father? You know he was a railroad engineer.

 

 

 

RICHARD

 

(He has heard this before but continues…)

 

No. You didn’t ever tell me. Did you ride on the train with him?

 

 

 

DOT

 

Oh yes. We would ride from Peoria, Illinois all the way to the desert. To Arizona. I love Arizona.

 

 

 

RICHARD

 

That’s good, because you live there.

 

 

 

DOT

 

(Confused.)

 

I live in Arizona?

 

 

 

RICHARD

 

Yes, you live in Phoenix.

 

 

 

DOT

 

 Oh that’s right. That’s right. Arizona.

 

(DOT relaxes. She sighs.)

 

Did I ever tell you about my father? He was a train engineer. And we used to ride the train…all the way to Arizona! And one time…one time when I was only nine, they let me go in the dinner car and sell peanuts. I’d say, “Get your hot goobers! Hot goobers here! Only ten-cents for the best goobers this side of the Mississippi!”

 

And I’d run up and down that dinner car until I was sweating like a dog.

 

 

 

RICHARD

 

I can imagine you were quite the salesperson. I would doubt too many girls that age were riding trains from Peoria to Arizona.

 

 

 

DOT

 

Oh, are YOU from Peoria, too?

 

 

 

RICHARD

 

Oh no. I’m…I’m from Bristol. Bristol, England. See here? Says it on my nametag.

 

 

 

DOT

 

Hmmm…hmmmm…

 

(She is falling asleep.)

 

 

 

 

(In walks KATIE. She is DOT’S niece, but has not seen her aunt in 15 years. KATIE is pale and dressed drably—a bit out of place for Arizona.)

 

 

KATIE

 

Is this Dorothy Hurley’s apartment?

 

 

 

RICHARD

 

Yes, it is.

 

(DOT snores.)

 

 

 

KATIE

 

Oh my goodness! Okay…um,

 

 

(DOT’s nursing aid enters.)

 

 

 

NURSING AID

 

Oh good. You found her. Looks like she passed out! Dick, you work wonders.

 

(Turning to KATIE)

 

Well, ma’am, here’s your aunt’s living quarters. We can arrange to get some fresh linens in the guest room and deliver an extra meal for dinner. Any diet restrictions?

 

 

 

KATIE

 

(Fumbling; embarrassed)

 

You know…I’m kind of a raw foodist…but oh…you know one meal isn’t going to make or break me. Anything is fine.

 

 

 

NURSING AID

 

Excuse me, what was your name again?

 

 

 

KATIE

 

I apologize. Katherine Bryant. Katie, actually.

 

 

 

NURSING AID

 

Katie, this is Dick Paxton. He’s our resident Massage Therapist. At Heavenly Acres—as you can see—our clients are well taken care of. Very well taken care of. We have everything from golf to tennis to yoga to tai chi.

 

Our clients participate—on a regular basis—in spa treatments, acupuncture, herbal therapy, colon therapy, infrared sauna…you name it.

 

I haven’t met a diet yet that seems outrageous—from lacto-ovo to gluten-free to absolutely no vegetables to vegan to…yes, a raw food diet. Our chefs are prepared to prepare anything that a client wants.

 

So…how about a fresh kale-and-cucumber salad with nopales relish with cashew loaf and marinated carrots? Chef David makes this raw carob-coconut dessert timbale thingie that’s out of this world too.

 

 

 

KATIE

 

(Overwhelmed and impressed.) Wow. “Nopales.” I had no idea. This is amazing. I am officially hungry now!

 

 

RICHARD

 

I happen to know what carob is, and I would like to stick around to see if you think it actually tastes good.

 

 

(KATIE and RICHARD’s eyes connect.)

 

 

INT – stage at Caesars Palace, Las Vegas, 1980 – night

 

FLASHBACK to RICHARD onstage. He sings DORIS TROY’S “Just One Look” with his backup singers.

 

 

 

RICHARD

 

Just one look and I fell so hard

In love with you, oh-oh, oh-oh

I found out how good it feels

To have your love, oh-oh, oh-oh

 

Say you will, will be mine

Forever and always, oh-oh, oh-oh

Just one look and I knew

That you were my only one

Oh oh-oh oh!

 

 

 

INT – DAY – DOT HURLEY’S penthouse condo

 

 

RICHARD returns from his FLASHBACK.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NURSING AID

 

 

(Interrupting the moment between RICHARD and KATIE)

 

Alright then. Katie, make yourself comfortable. I assume you’ll be staying for at least a little while?

 

 

 

KATIE

 

Yes, oh yes. I’m not sure how long it will take to get all the legal and medical documents together.

 

(looking at her aunt)

 

I had no idea Aunt Dot was…in such a state. You know, you just assume your family is getting along fine without you. I’m…(looks back at Nursing Aid)…I’m just glad Heavenly Acres was able to find me so I can help out.

 

 

 

NURSING AID

 

Well, it isn’t that uncommon to suddenly find out that—at least—all the legal documents aren’t quite set in place when someone gets to the stage your aunt is at. We knew Dorothy didn’t have any children, but her brother—your father, correct?

 

 

 

KATIE

 

Yes, Stephen. Her only sibling. That was my father.

 

 

 

NURSING AID

 

Stephen passed away overseas and we…just never found out until…recently.

 

 

 

KATIE

 

(clearly upset)

 

So much disconnect. I’ve been living in Montreal for over a decade. I…had no idea, really…

 

(Looks at Richard)

 

 

 

RICHARD

 

I’m…I’m so sorry. I’ve known your aunt for…quite some time and I rarely heard her mention her brother. I knew her family was small.

 

 

 

KATIE

 

Well. It’s just me. My parents are both deceased.

 

(composing herself)

 

Thank you, Ms. (looks at her nametag) Butler. You’ve done so much already.

 

 

NUSRING AID

 

I’ll be back later to check on Dot later. Take care settling in and getting reacquainted with your aunt. Alzheimer’s is a strange thing.

 

You’ll find she may not recognize you at first. But you never know. What always surprise me most with Alzheimer’s is that there are what we call “moments of clarity.”

 

I observe patients all the time who could be out of it and very, very confused for days…months…and then something clicks and the patient can suddenly rattle off a laundry list of their life’s facts and maybe their short-term memory starts to kick in… for a brief time. Strange. But it’s interesting to observe.

 

Just remember Katie, it’s hardest on the loved ones, not on the patients themselves.

 

(To Richard)

 

We’ll see you tomorrow.

 

 

 

RICHARD

 

(Looking with concern at Katie) Yes. I will be here tomorrow, same time.

 

 

(The NURSING AID exits. Richard starts to pack up his things, but he obviously can’t take his massage chair as DOT is asleep in it.)

 

 

 

KATIE

 

Oh. Do you have to go? I…I’m not sure I want to be here alone when my aunt wakes up.

 

…and I have a question to ask you.

 

 

RICHARD

 

I’d be happy to stay. I don’t have another appointment until 3 p.m.

 

What’s your question?

 

 

KATIE

 

What the hell are “nopales”?

 

 

RICHARD

 

(Laughs.)

 

Cactus. Edible cactus. Delicious, actually. Nothing like carob.

 

You’re in the desert now, Mrs. Bryant.

 

 

KATIE

 

Ms. Bryant. “Miss” I suppose. Oh…whatever. It’s Katie. Cactus? Do you have to worry about the…oh…

 

…I think my Aunt Dot is waking up.

 

 

DOT stirs and begins to awaken.

 

Astral Projection for Dummies, Act 1, Scene 8

October 10, 2013

“Av for dummies, act 1, scene 8”

By

Robert Janeck

4815 Comanche Way

 

 

FAde In:

Normies Garage

Norms Garage.  Norms is wrenching on a motorcycle.  Rebecca comes into the driveway on a new Harley 48, and hits the kill button when she clears the sidewalk and glides up to the door.  Bob comes in a minute later in a new Mustang GT convertible, while Rebecca is taking off her helmet, gloves and leather chaps and a leather jacket she could have been poured into.  She is wearing a guys sleeveless tee shirt, and shorts that would have got her a job in any Hooters restaurant in the country.  Norm stops working and watches her take off the biker garb, while Bob observes from Rebecca’s 6 o’clock position.

Norm

This is better than the matinee at a backroad country strip joint.

 

Bob

Copy that Normie Poo.

Rebecca

You jerks just wish the show continued from her, but you just have to use your imagination.  (Looking over her shoulder at Bob.) And you better remember that I know when you’ve been naughty or nice, cause I know when you are watching me, so, pervert, no peeking.

 

 

bob

Why?

rebecca

Because you know I can hurt you.

Norm

Ok, you cranky bitches, get brewskies from the fridge, and don’t forget me.

Rebecca

 

You want one or two.

 

(Rebecca heads to an older fridge, opens it, and we see that there is a bottle of tequila and six glasses on the top shelf, and the rest of the fridge is packed with beer)

Norm

Two dear.

Bob

You ever consider that you two waste a lot of beer.

Norm and Rebecca

It ain’t a waste.

 

They go through the mutual ritual of pouring out a been on a now dead part of Norms lawn, just outside the garage door.

Norma and rebecca

For those who cannot join us today.

 

 

 

 

Rebecca

So, haven’t you tow ever seen a woman biker before?

 

 

Norm

Been a few years since I seen one like you.  Chickie, you are like no other..

 

 

bob

I hope that you two aren’t getting hooked up.

rebecca

You wish, you pervert

 

Norm

Beer, you two.

 

All three drink heartily, and finish their first, of many.

 

Rebecca

Are you two out of beer, or can we drink some more of that amber treat.

Norm

Got more.

Norm looks at her with a raised eyebrown, goes to the been fridge and gets out 5, his hands are full with long necks beween each fringer on his right.  He hands one to Bob, and two to Rebecca, and then goes back to the motorcycle he was working on, and stocks the two cupholders custom molded into the gas tank.

Norm

Are you Becky the Bomber bitch.

Rebecca

(slowly)  Are you Nermel?

Norm

Copy, Beckob.

(loudly together) shit

Rebecca

I thought you were dead

Norm

No, you missed.

 

rebecca

Will, I wasn’t really trying to kill you, if I  was you would have been it, cause your fat ass would be an easy target.

Rebecca

So, why are you alive.

Norm

Spyder hole. 

(both nod)

Norm (looking at Bob)

Miss Becky Poo was my drone pilot on that mission that rang my chimes.  We hit #2 in the organization.  I had to call in the strike on my position because I got too close to run away.  There was a nice dry well that sheltered the blast.

Norm

So Rebecca, what happened to you after that.

Rebecca

Two missions later, my forward control….well, he wasn’t as good as you.  I dropped a bomb on a school, busted a bunch of kids, and three teachers, and two UN Bluehats.  I was retired for public relations.  Twenty one kids was no big deal, three teachers wasn’t a big deal, but two god damn blue hats screwed the pooch.  No way I could be there after that.  I was retired.

 

Rebecca

Four years of regular army, two years of setting up the drone recon, then the conversion to drones as combat platforms, and two years as a pilot, and bad info makes me a murderer and drummed out of the project.

Bob and NOrm

Bastards, what happened to the forward control.

 

Rebecca

He was three blocks away,  he gave me the wrong GPS, gave it to me as three blocks west and the target was three blocks east.  Fucker couldn’t read his damn compass.

Norm

I heard that he was promoted a month later and buried in a desk at the Pentagon.

Rebecca

Two lmonths later, a guy in a bar was talking to me, and mentioned RV,k I told him that I didn’t want a Winnebago, and turned out he was a one, remote viewer, and he told me how.  I got into it, and found out the slot machine thing, and not I got a basement full of quarters, and dollar coins, and I live at the slots, take some, give some back and spread the pain.

BOB

TMI.  Way, way too much information.  Beer?

Rebecca and Norm

We’re dying.  Beer, more.

Scene shifts to lawn chairs, in the sun, outside the garage, not too far from the beer fridge.

 

bob

So, is there anything off limits, illegal with the higher ups, immoral, unethical, or just plain wrong?

rebecca

Nope. (Drinks from bottle, a full drink.)

Norm

Damn.  (Drinks from bottle, a full drink.)

bob

So, its up to you, or me, to decide what is right, wrong, or, don’t care?

(Both Rebecca and Norm are facing the sun, Norms shirt is open and Rebeccas is pulled up, showing some underboob.)

rebecca

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yup.  Drinks heavily from bottle

Norm

Damn.  Drinks heavily from bottle, empties same.

                                                     

bob

So, I can watch things that shouldn’t be watched, look at things that shouldn’t be looked at, find things that shouldn’t be found, and learn things that shouldn’t be learned?

Bob

Yup.  (drinks heavily, and finishes bottle) And your only a one.  Just wait.

norm

Damn, out of beer.  Becky boo, need a brew?

rebecca

Yup.

bob

And you can tell when slot machines are going to pay, what about lottery tickets.

Norm gets tired of lucking at Bob, and gets out of his chair and goes to his fridge, getting three beers, returning to his chair, after handing the two out.

rebecca

Only if it is a preprinted lottery ticket.  Like, on Tuesday you won’t know the number of the Wednesday drawing, that will come when you are a 5 or a 6, I don’t know for sure.

Norm

5 or 6.  What is this, the fucking civil service?

bob

Different levels, like military.  I guess I am a one, I can view.  She is a two, she can look back down my thread, and see me, watching.  A three can touch, and kind of move stuff, a four can look backward in time, and a five, we guess, can look foreward.  We don’t know what a six can do,  maybe it’s a god.

Rebecca,

Give the boy a cookie, he seems to be catching on.  Normie Poo, how about being a good boy, and getting me another beer?

(Rebecca is starting to slur her speech, and when she stands up she sways,  her shirt is very tight, and still showing some bottom boob.)

Norm

But, If I do, give you one more beer, I will have provided beyond a shadow of a doubt, prima facia evidence, indeed, of the existence of goldie locks and the three beers.

Rebecca and bob

growns

bob

(Getting up to get some more beer.)  Norm, its humor like that that made vaudeville what it is today.  EXTINCT

 

 

 

 

FAde Out: